Arcane Ramblings

OMFG!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:40:18 GMT

Learning to draw all over again. Fuck you, Photoshop. (You know I love you.)

RAAAAAAAAAAWR!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 07:16:40 GMT

That's pretty much the sound that came out of my new box after having installed a fan I purchased a while ago. Keep in mind, said fan was probably not meant for small personal computers, but it was cheap and I figured I'd give it a whirl. OM MY GOODNESS. You would have thought I was running a wind tunnel in this room. This sucker is loud. I used to think complaints about fan noise I saw in hardware reviews were silly. "How loud could they possibly be?" I now understand. So, as with SO many projects, this is a continuing one. Newegg is my friend!

Woohoo!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:52:56 GMT

Amazingly, my LittleFace will have been here on this planet 1 year tomorrow. It is cliche, but time certainly does fly...

hrm...

brodius257@yahoo.com — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:47:02 GMT

Life ain't so bad I suppose. I still DESPERATELY need some real employment. While I AM grateful for C's having me work for him under the table, I am in no position to be financially independent.

My parents are wonderful people.

My baby is lovely.

My brain almost fried earlier today working on my project. I suppose it's my fault for trying to do things the hard way:D

......

brodius257@yahoo.com — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 05:31:53 GMT

Babies having fevers is so not cool.

Learning curve...

brodius257@yahoo.com — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:15:27 GMT

Trying to install Apache and PHP and I am fucking LOST!

It seems to suit me at the moment...

brodius257@yahoo.com — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:09:01 GMT

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Of course! I'm a glutton for punishment!

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Flood

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
I honestly don't remember the first time. The second time I was bewildered by the dream I just had.

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
About 10:15pm, with my mother.

(At this point I wonder where 5 and 6 went!)

7. What are you excited for?
!!!JOBS!!! and getting one!

8. What were you doing yesterday?
Hangin' with my family and missing someone terribly.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Probably my brother.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
!!!BEER!!!

11. Have a best friend?
Of course! Three in fact.

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
Yeah...I used to think it was a great thing....but my radar seems to be broken as of late.

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
I refuse to answer that...

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Myself?

15. What time is it right this second?
11:25pm

16. What do you want right now?
A hug and some cuddlin'...

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
MY FACE!!!

19. When was the last time you cried?
About 30 minutes ago motherfucker.

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
When I don't live with them!

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Unfortunately, no. And that is a problem.

22. How fast does your mind change?
Every second.

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
Yes indeed I do.

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
No. But how often am I okay anyway?

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
Because we make bad choices.

26. Tell me what's on your mind?
That is ENTIRELY too open ended a question for this shit.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
My fucking movie!

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
I once wore a skirt...I was like 19. It was fun.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Don't have number one, unless you count my Oldest Bestest friend as number one:D....but I talked to him online a few days ago.

30. When is your next road trip?
"Hell, a first road trip would be cool." I agree with this statement!

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Indeed...she's pretty much my therapist.

32. How's your heart?
Insane!

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Far too often.

34. Do you think someone is in love with you?
No, but they should be!

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Finishing my beer and looking at more jobs on craigslist.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Last night, but not today, no.

38. Who do you not get along with?
Myself!

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
Something ordinary and mundane.

40. What are you wearing right now?
Headphones, socks, jeans, underwear and a shirt. Oh! And my heart on my sleeve.

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Not recently enough!

43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
Well, I seem to like Hunter for a boy at the moment. And Wynter has been my girl's name before she was born, like WAY before.

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
See the question that last asked something similar.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
No, I'd rather get that hug I was talkin' about.

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yeah.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Looking at the clock and thinking, "Holy shit, it's already midnight!"

8. What are your LEGAL initials?
BdP

49. Whos the first B in your contacts?
Berns

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Yesterday?

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
Of course! Don't be stupid!

52. Last awkward moment?
How about last UNawkward moment!

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
No, I relish it.

54. Do you have good vision?
These things are pretty fuckin; thick. I better be able to see somethin'!

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
Myself, yes.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
On the ass? Yes. In the face? Hell no!

57. Are you Irish?
A wee bit yes.

58. Do you use chap stick?
Indeed.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
Actually, no.

61. Are you dating the last person you held hands with?
Nope. Wouldn't be a bad situation though!

62. Name the last person to text you?
Cristal.

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
Of course.

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
Considering I just came from public, yes I can.

65. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J?
No....at least, I don't think so.

66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The North.

68. Whats one huge pet peeve?
Turn signals and not using them.

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
Yes.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
That's silly.

71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yes. Good thing I ran away!

72. Song you're thinking of right now?
Down by the River, as sung by the Indigo Girls.

73 Want someone back in your life?
Not anymore, thank goodness.

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
If I wake, yes.

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
Black.

76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
Actually no, it would be nice though.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Duh!

79.Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
I'm happy around others...people make me happy. I spend too much time with myself and I get antsy.

80. Who have you texted today?
Does it really matter that much? Fuck texting, I use it to get shit done, not have conversations.

81. What are 5 things someone would find in your room?
Books for sketching, books for reading, books for the FACE!, toys for the FACE!, and just a little bit of comfort:D

Birthday blues?

brodius257@yahoo.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 05:39:44 GMT

FUCK NO! Between the awesome weekend I had with family and friends and the last day and a half of debauchery...I simply can not complain about a fucking thing this birthday! Well, ok, except maybe the minor hangover I am still nursing, lol!

WARNING: Total geek alert!!!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:50:35 GMT

Transformers 2: ROTF, is going to be fucking awesome. Okay, I'm done...

FUCK

brodius257@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:34:54 GMT

I hate it when my body says I should be somewhere, but my mind has all these rules and shit that override it's motives and motivation!

woah!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:50:12 GMT

Theme change! I haven't played with that in a while. It'll probably change some more before I settle down.

Am I?

brodius257@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:35:21 GMT

I think I'm a good father. I love my baby. I bathe her, feed her, play with her. I change those abominable diapers of hers, lol. I love it that she laughs so much when her diapers are changed. "This one's for you, Daddy!" We sit and watch that damnable tube sometimes, or I'll put in one of her DVD's...But I try to keep the digital inputs to a minimum, mostly because I think it rots your brain. But she loves to look at it so I do it. I take her for walks. She loves being outside. And just within a couple of blocks from the house we've discovered things together. I like that. I love my daughter.

I hate bitching about my life. I feel like such a whiny little ass. But, I think I need to in this case because these negative feelings and thoughts keep milling about in my head.

I am not in love with Wynter's mother. I have no intention of having any relationship with her beyond what is appropriate and necessary as two parents who are not romantically involved. At this point, I hate to even say it, I don't like her much at all. There's a matter of laziness and not being motivated to improve her financial situation for Wynter's sake if not her own. Opportunity is knocking on her door, she just refuses to answer.

Apparently I don't have my priorities straight, according to some people. Despite the fact that I spend so much time each day with my daughter, and despite the fact that pretty much everything is done for her now, my priorities aren't straight. Why, because if I don't have to work the next morning, and Wynter's mother is home with her, I usually go out. "Going out" usually includes hitting a least two bars in Redlands. It may include random adventures outside of Redlands if I've met interesting, friendly people who like my company.

Whether I come home at midnight or 3am, if Wynter needs to be fed or otherwise attended to, I do it. I don't just come home and pass out and leave everything to her mother.

I guess it pisses me off that I can have a full day of responsibility and joy with my daughter and because I decide to spend a couple/few hours to myself, somehow it's negated.

But, I'm pretty sure I'm a good dad, because I want to be. I don't know everything, and half the time I worry that I'm not doing something right. But thoughts like that keep me grounded and open to ideas other than my own on parenting.

bleh

brodius257@yahoo.com — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:28:57 GMT

I be a sore body...Baths are nice:D

RAAAAAAAAWR!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:54:57 GMT

Sometimes life ain't so bad:D

Heehee

brodius257@yahoo.com — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 06:14:56 GMT

I love my LittleFace!

HA!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:59:47 GMT

I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight:D

Whatever...

brodius257@yahoo.com — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:15:16 GMT

Was today good? Parts of it were good for sure...

monkey see, monkey do

brodius257@yahoo.com — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:19:51 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, brodius257 sent to me...

Twelve tyranids drumming

Eleven salads piping

Ten cats a-painting

Nine arthropods birdwatching

Eight varanids a-gaming

Seven bookarts a-reading

Six goths a-drawing

Five ca-a-a-arnivorous plants

Four pc rpg's

Three cob homes

Two indigo girls

...and a ps2 in a ray bradbury.

Stuff 'n' Things

brodius257@yahoo.com — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 07:42:21 GMT

My last day of school for my BS was July 31st of this year. Less than two weeks later on August 8th I lost my job. Septmeber 23rd my baby girl was born. I love her little face! After working for a law firm for 20 years, my mother lost her job. The firm, at 118 years old, dissolved into nothingness. Luckily she was able to find another job fairly quickly. On October 4th, I took the CBEST, and passed. That test is so ridiculously easy, it was almost insulting.

I had been working with my baby's grandfather (her mother's father) for the last couple of months making very little money, but it was something so I stuck with it. For the last two weeks I've been installing windows making more money than I ever anticipated making anytime soon. Hopefully this will keep me running until I decide to apply as a substitute teacher with a school district within a reasonable driving distance. If it keeps going the way it is, I could end up doing the window thing for quite a while. I seem to be doing a good job.

I like when things turnaround. For the time being they have. Did I mention that I love my Wynter's adorable little face?

EDIT: I just realized that the only negative goings on above were the losing of the jobs. I would say that FINALLY getting my degree and having my "little face" are achievements hard to top. I think my dour mood stems from other factors I'm not necessarily ready to discuss online.

doh!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:28:13 GMT

Her name is Wynter Rose...we hyphenated our last names for the sake of...whatever:)

She's here!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 07:54:58 GMT

4:54pm. 8 pounds, 2.4 ounces. 21 inches. She's beautiful and healthy so far. ANd I didn't pass out, thank goodness!

?!

brodius257@yahoo.com — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:51:02 GMT

She's dilated...I guess Wynter will be here early....

If you need to know more...

brodius257@yahoo.com — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:55:24 GMT

Join the "obama_2008" group here on LJ. Lots of info. Some not so great, some funny, most of it, very good.

Girl?

brodius257@yahoo.com — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:12:57 GMT

So now, he's SURE it's a girl. I'll believe it when the baby "pops" out. As long as the child has two arms, a head, and two legs (or three in the case of a boy) I'll be just fine. I don't want scales or fins or anything, but if that's part of the package, I guess I'll have to deal. Hopefully it won't want to eat mice and crickets like my current scaly companion.

detox

brodius257@yahoo.com — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:09:43 GMT

It's really not that big of a deal. Don't worry about it. Stop thinking about it. Fuck it, you have WAY more important things to worry about. Stop focusing on the problem, look towards the solution(s). Get your ass to school and work on your project.

(nothing big going on, I'm just kinda pissed off about trivial shit that people feel the need to bring up and call me about when I'm at work.)