brodius257

Katura and Brandy should be friends here on LJ. I believe the two of you could have some quite interesting and insightful conversations. I'd do the linking and all that, but I am ignorant of the proper tags, etc. But, Pasajera and Muddypath, y'all need to listen to me and add each other as friends! LISTEN!

Today:
General cleaning, reorganize bedroom, job applications, help Pops with table, pick up Cristal (11:30pm)

Tuesday:
Pay Phone, more job applications, repair breakages in curb (find mortar)

Wednesday:
Bake Bread in the AM, help Mama with whatever

Thursday:
Hopefully good food. All I remember from the last time the L.A. family had Turkey Day is that there was some really....sub par (as compared to most previous occasions) food that made me think, "What the hell is going on here?" My aunts can cook, and it's just damned weird for there to be food on the table that isn't absolutely wonderful:D

Friday:
Even more job applications, doll pattern? I would love it if I could get my mother to help me with this. While I do believe it is within my power to do what I have in mind, I really, truly prefer to have someone show me the ropes. She is more than experienced enough with the threads to help me out here:D More bread? Probably.

Saturday:
Our "true" Thanksgiving. We don't need to do this anymore, but we've continued the tradition of having a second dinner after Thursday. When my dad was a fireman he almost always had to work on the actual day so we would go to the family gathering out in L.A. on Thursday and have another dinner the following Friday or Saturday. We all love our mother's cooking so much that I think we would just have kicking and screaming tantrums if she ever stopped doing the Second Dinner. I know one thing though- one or all of us better learn how to make this shit because she old enough that she's pretty much tired of doing it.

Sunday: back to work....bleh.

I'll be using this thing to try and work out my scheduling and whatnot. I apologize in advance if the mundane nature of these posts bores anyone to death! :D

Learning to draw all over again. Fuck you, Photoshop. (You know I love you.)

That's pretty much the sound that came out of my new box after having installed a fan I purchased a while ago. Keep in mind, said fan was probably not meant for small personal computers, but it was cheap and I figured I'd give it a whirl. OM MY GOODNESS. You would have thought I was running a wind tunnel in this room. This sucker is loud. I used to think complaints about fan noise I saw in hardware reviews were silly. "How loud could they possibly be?" I now understand. So, as with SO many projects, this is a continuing one. Newegg is my friend!

Amazingly, my LittleFace will have been here on this planet 1 year tomorrow. It is cliche, but time certainly does fly...

Life ain't so bad I suppose. I still DESPERATELY need some real employment. While I AM grateful for C's having me work for him under the table, I am in no position to be financially independent.

My parents are wonderful people.

My baby is lovely.

My brain almost fried earlier today working on my project. I suppose it's my fault for trying to do things the hard way:D

Babies having fevers is so not cool.

Trying to install Apache and PHP and I am fucking LOST!

FUCK NO! Between the awesome weekend I had with family and friends and the last day and a half of debauchery...I simply can not complain about a fucking thing this birthday! Well, ok, except maybe the minor hangover I am still nursing, lol!

Transformers 2: ROTF, is going to be fucking awesome. Okay, I'm done...

I hate it when my body says I should be somewhere, but my mind has all these rules and shit that override it's motives and motivation!

Theme change! I haven't played with that in a while. It'll probably change some more before I settle down.

I think I'm a good father. I love my baby. I bathe her, feed her, play with her. I change those abominable diapers of hers, lol. I love it that she laughs so much when her diapers are changed. "This one's for you, Daddy!" We sit and watch that damnable tube sometimes, or I'll put in one of her DVD's...But I try to keep the digital inputs to a minimum, mostly because I think it rots your brain. But she loves to look at it so I do it. I take her for walks. She loves being outside. And just within a couple of blocks from the house we've discovered things together. I like that. I love my daughter.

I hate bitching about my life. I feel like such a whiny little ass. But, I think I need to in this case because these negative feelings and thoughts keep milling about in my head.

I am not in love with Wynter's mother. I have no intention of having any relationship with her beyond what is appropriate and necessary as two parents who are not romantically involved. At this point, I hate to even say it, I don't like her much at all. There's a matter of laziness and not being motivated to improve her financial situation for Wynter's sake if not her own. Opportunity is knocking on her door, she just refuses to answer.

Apparently I don't have my priorities straight, according to some people. Despite the fact that I spend so much time each day with my daughter, and despite the fact that pretty much everything is done for her now, my priorities aren't straight. Why, because if I don't have to work the next morning, and Wynter's mother is home with her, I usually go out. "Going out" usually includes hitting a least two bars in Redlands. It may include random adventures outside of Redlands if I've met interesting, friendly people who like my company.

Whether I come home at midnight or 3am, if Wynter needs to be fed or otherwise attended to, I do it. I don't just come home and pass out and leave everything to her mother.

I guess it pisses me off that I can have a full day of responsibility and joy with my daughter and because I decide to spend a couple/few hours to myself, somehow it's negated.

But, I'm pretty sure I'm a good dad, because I want to be. I don't know everything, and half the time I worry that I'm not doing something right. But thoughts like that keep me grounded and open to ideas other than my own on parenting.

I be a sore body...Baths are nice:D

Sometimes life ain't so bad:D

I love my LittleFace!

I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight:D

Was today good? Parts of it were good for sure...